Just The Facts, Ma'am...Tough Talk

I have spent the last 30 years in dog sport, learning the ins and outs of the game. I have sworn to leave many times but for some reason I keep coming back. I think new exhibitors (I was one once) have a sugar coated view of the sport and no one really tells them the truth. Dog shows can be brutal, but if you come prepared, you will be better equipped to handle it. Here are things I think you should know:


1. Your dog will be beaten by a lesser specimen probably more times than you imagine.
2. Your clothing will be criticized.
3. Your handling skills will be criticized.
4. Your dog will be criticized.
5. You will be totally ignored by fellow exhibitors on occasion.
6. You will be totally ignored by judges on occasion.
7. A judge will ask your dog's age while it is on the table even though this is discouraged.
8. An exhibitor will blatantly chat up a judge outside the ring prior to judging.
9. An exhibitor will eat a meal with a judge either at a restaurant or at their motorhome prior to judging with no concern about it.
10. You will be disappointed by someone you highly respect.
11. You will be disappointed by someone you consider a friend.
12. You will witness very bad sportsmanship that is totally ignored by those that should respond.
13. You will hear disparaging comments about judges.
14. You will hear disparaging comments about other exhibitors.
15. You will hear disparaging comments about yourself.
16. You will be promised a particular puppy from a litter and it will be sold out from under you.
17. You will sign a contract that will never be honored.
18. You will be screwed, blued and tattooed (not literally) by someone you trusted.
19. You will lose puppies if you become a breeder.
20. You will lose sleep if you become a breeder.
21. You will lose friends if you become a breeder.
22. You will lose your mind if you become a breeder.
23. If you breed long enough, a health problem may appear in your lines and you may have to throw your entire breeding program out the window.


 If you are a very sensitive soul this game isn't for you. Maybe you should take up underwater basket weaving. The journey to inner peace in dogs is a very long one. This sport can be the best of times or the worst of times. It's all in your perspective. Think you can handle all of this? Then buckle up, Buttercup, and get out the Valium! It's a wild ride.

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THE SILVER SPOON THEORY


If you been 'in dogs' for any length of time, you have certainly heard the expression 'he/she was born with a silver (name the breed) spoon in their mouth'.
This expression, of course, refers to a person who was born into the dog game. Perhaps one (or both) parents are/were breeders, exhibitors, judges or a combination of the three. Nothing invokes more envy than when you are beaten by a silver spoon baby. Let's face it, no one gets to choose their parents. Wouldn't we all have loved to be the one to whom Bob Forsyth or Annie Clark invoked their genius? If your answer is no, get some show guppies!

Get a grip, people! Of course these folks can beat you! They have spent their entire life 'in the sport', getting to see all the greats of your breed, studying the greatest handlers to ever live, learning their tricks of the trade! Those of us who weren't born into the sport spent most of our childhood weekends playing Capture the Flag or Kick the Can! We had no clue about dog shows. We were too busy tripping over our own shoelaces!
So just what do you expect to happen? Do they always have the best specimen in the ring? No. Do they always win? No. But if YOU go in the ring against them with a defeatist attitude, it shows to both the judge and the other exhibitors. Now you are in a negative zone which goes down the leash. What can you do about it? Stop acting like a fool. Show your damned dog.
If you are at ringside and you see the silver spooner coming, do you drop your head down, sigh and say 'oh well'? Well STOP THAT! In that case, you should be beaten. Sure judges are supposed to judge the dog on the day, but if you don't have confidence in yourself or your dog, who will? If you don't believe that your dog is worthy of the win, then stay home on the couch eating bonbons and watch the shows on your big screen.
I am living proof that if you hang in there long enough and get the best dog your money can buy, you WILL succeed.
So raise your glass to the Spooners! Get to know them. Their knowledge is invaluable. And you might not only learn something, you could even gain a great mentor and friend.


HAIL TO THE SPOONERS!!

The VERY FIRST FIRST

HELLO WORLD!

Let me introduce myself.
I'm fat, I'm a Wicca and I show whippets (although I'm currently working on the fat part in 2016, but that's a whole nuther post). Wanted to start off 2016 with a blog which I promise myself, and you, dear readers, that I will keep up by posting at least once a week. I am a blogger failure in the past but I'm trying to make a change. I do have a lot to say about things, especially my dog show hobby.
So, to start things off I wrote a poem to remind all of us where we started in this journey with our dogs. Hope you enjoy it!


THE VERY FIRST FIRST


Do you remember that very first first?
The pride in your chest made your heart nearly burst....
Sweet Rosie gave kisses with liver fresh breath,
But you didn't care cuz you loved her to death.

You loaded your arms down with toys that went squeak
The new friendly faces yelled 'see you next week'
The ride home just flew by over hill, over glens
Now you check when the entries for future shows end
Then blues turn to purples and purples to gold
Those trophies you craved have become yours to hold
And pups at your feet, they don't walk yet but wiggle
And all of their antics still cause you to giggle
Now title certificates cover the walls
And big shadow boxes all hang in the halls
And Rosie, she's curled up real tight on the couch
Her brindle great-grandson steals bait from your pouch
You pack up the van and load up your puppy
Without all these dogs you'd have married a Yuppie
So off to the shows you go with a start
You're ready to show off that wild little fart
You stand at the ring all groomed up and prepared
That wee bouncing brindle, you know he's not scared
Then all of a sudden a stranger's approach
Makes you scoop up your pup with a look of reproach
"May I pet the puppy?" the stranger requests
"Of course not, you fool! Don't be such a pest!"
You stare at the stranger and give them a frown
So they walk away with their head hanging down
Then sweet little pupster starts chewing your shoe
You yank on the leash with a sharp tug or two
His lead slips, he runs to the new friend he's found
And you see a smile when they turn back around
You suddenly recall you very first first
And say, "Just a moment (it could have been worse)
Why not find you a seat and watch some of the classes?
And look at this book. Dammit, where are my glasses?"
So now you're a mentor, a teacher, a guide
Show somebody else how to feel all that pride
Tell them your tales, all the laughs, all the verse
So they get a chance at that very first first.